A Little Bit Crazy

In the beginning of the 1977 movie Annie Hall, Alvy Singer, the male lead played by Woody Allen, shares with us, the audience, his views about life.  He says he's not a morose or depressed person, but he's discovered that life is full of loneliness, misery, suffering, and unhappiness. He is struggling with the failure of his relationship with Annie, and he's trying to understand what went wrong.  Somewhere in his rumination about life's disappointments he says, "I would never want to belong to a club that would have someone like me as a member."  

Later, in the same movie, Alvy is walking down the street with a friend when he says, "That reminds me of that old joke--you know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, 'hey doc, my brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken.'  Then the doc says, 'Why don't you turn him in?' Then the guy says, 'I would but I need the eggs.' I guess that's how I feel about relationships.  They're totally crazy, irrational, and absurd, but we keep going through it because we need the eggs."

It's rumored that Woody Allen, who co-wrote and directed this movie, used his own life experiences in Annie Hall, but he has never admitted it. And, I understand why.  Who wants to admit to having low self-esteem with a propensity toward hysteria, which can lead to C-R-A-Z-Y? At least not publicly.  It's okay, though, to call your best friend or sister sobbing at 1:00 o'clock in the morning because he just wasn't that into you.  "What is wrong with me," you cry, and the response you get back is what you expected because best friends love you unconditionally, and they are supposed to say these things when your heart has been broken.  "Nothing is wrong with you!" Your support person says. "You are too good for him.  He'll never find anyone as good as you.  I don't know what you saw in him in the first place. He's a dirt bag!"

After crying into the phone for forty-five minutes, repeating the same thing over and over and over again, "What's wrong with me, and what does she have that I don't have?" (break ups usually involve another person), you hang up, throw up, lie down on the couch, and stare at the ceiling the rest of the night.  The next day at work, you are worthless, which confirms what you already knew: you are worthless.  Once the self-loathing starts, it can spiral out of control.  You say you're unworthy of love; your friends say that's not true.  No I'm not! Yes you are!  No I'm not! Yes you are! No I'm not! No I'm not! No I'm not! Yes you are! Yes you are! Yes you are! Sound a little bit crazy?  You haven't heard anything yet!

Rejection in love can make you crazy.  It can make you do things you never thought possible before you were bid adios. Well, not you in particular.  Everyone knows how stable and well put together you are.  In fact, you probably have never had a broken heart, and your self-esteem has never been challenged. How fortunate for you.  It's people like you who make the worthless feel bad.  People unworthy of love like to compare themselves to others.  People like you, for example.  You, who have it all:  beauty, brains, charm, personality, great sense of humor, awesome hair, big boobs.  Yep!  You are the nemesis to all those unloveable girls left in his wake.

Rejection is a powerful emotion. It can make the one left behind do things they never thought they would do before he dumped them for YOU! I hope you're happy with yourself!!  Who kept calling and hanging up? Who let the air out of his tires? Who stood outside your apartment and yelled, "He's a heart breaker! You're his next victim! By the way, he has herpes!"? Who threw his clothes in the lake? I know but I'm not telling.  A team of wild hogs could not drag it out of me. Nope! My lips are sealed. Girlfriends stick together.  We are united and our slogan is "All is fair in love and rejection."  

What? He called me?  But I thought he was with her. I thought they were a couple. What? He's not that into her? Really? He wants to date me? Well, I always did think he was cute, but, but, but, but she's my best friend. What? He thinks I'm cute, too?  Really? Well, I always did have a secret crush on him, but, but, but she's one of my friends.  What?  Tonight?  He wants to go on a date with me tonight? Really? Well, I did just get a pedicure, and I shaved my legs this morning, but, but she's an acquaintance of mine. What? Seven o'clock? Well, that is a short notice; I think I can be ready by then, but I think I know his girlfriend.

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Delivery for.

Delivery for who?

I know it sounds totally crazy, irrational, and absurd, but a chicken just stopped me on the street and asked me to tell you he couldn't make it tonight. Something came up.

A chicken?  That is crazy.  Why didn't you turn him in?

I would have but he said you needed these eggs.