Crazy Bad Things

You know how, when you're in the company of other people and something crazy bad happens, you look around to see who else besides you is appalled by it and nobody is? You know how, when that bad thing happens, you hope others will join you in your effort to right a wrong but nobody does? You know how, when you step out of line to confront the bad all by yourself, everyone is now looking at you? You know how, when everyone is looking at you, the only person brave enough to challenge bad, you suddenly have to pee?

It was 1983 and the Jedi was returning to a theatre near me. By the time I got to the ticket counter all but one of the seats were sold out. I got the last one. As I was sliding my money across the counter, a woman pushed me aside and yelled at the young girl behind the glass, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE JEDI IS SOLD OUT?!" The startled girl apologized but unfortunately there was nothing she could do for the irate lady who had been waiting in line for over thirty minutes. "YOU ARE BLEEPIN KIDDING ME. YOU CAN TAKE YOUR THEATRE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR BLEEP. I WILL NEVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN!"

I don't know about you but I call that behavior crazy bad. I looked around to see if anyone else besides me was appalled and nobody appeared to be. Everyone stood stoned faced and looked straight ahead. As the irate lady walked away from the ticket counter she continued her tirade, "BLEEP THESE BLEEPIN PEOPLE!" she screamed as she took the milkshake in her hand and threw it directly at a young man who was on a pay telephone several feet away from the ticket counter. From head to toe, the man was covered in chocolate slop. His mouth dropped open, his eyes grew to the size of golf balls, but he continued to talk, afraid to confront crazy bad.

Are you upset yet because I was kinda hoping you were? I thought you might join me in case I decide to step out of line to right this wrong. She's walking to the end of the line now screaming at people as she passes them. Everyone is looking straight ahead, silent.  Oh, no! She just pushed a little old lady aside so she can cut through the line to get to her car in the parking lot. Are you with me? Can we go right this wrong? Wait! She's coming this way. She's going to pass right by us. She's getting closer. OKAY! LET'S GO GET THIS BI... . What? What do you mean everyone will be looking at you? Excuse me? You have to what? Didn't you go before you left home.

You know how, when you find yourself in the midst of Crazy Bad, you always think about self-preservation? You know how, when you are in the presence of Instability, you try to not draw attention to yourself? You know how, when something does not involve you, you stay out of it? Yes, you say. You know all of those things? Really? Well, did you know this: When you do step out of line, walk right up to Crazy Bad, get in her face and say, "Now that wasn't a very nice thing to do, was it?" that crazy bad things can happen to you? Oh, you know that already? Okay then, never mind.