Through the Ages

If we live long enough, it's going to happen to all of us.  Aging, that is. Nothing puts that dreaded thought (or obsession) into perspective better than visual illustrations that show a woman's body as it goes through the aging process.

Note:  This illustration has not been updated

since Dwight Eisenhower was President of U.S.

Yesterday I was the image on the left.  Today, well, let's just say I'm in my mid-sixties.  Actually, that's a lie.  I'm closer to seventy than I wish to admit, and I'm not one bit happy about that.

I've done a little research on the subject of getting old--not that I needed to Google it, since I'm living it. But I thought you might want to know that there is good news for those of us who want to stay thirty-five forever.  But before I tell you what that is, let's review, shall we.

The Thirties

Great hair.

Soft supple skin.

Good muscle tone.

Firm breasts.

Can read close up.

Good feet.

Happy.

The Forties

A little salt sprinkled in the hair.

Is that cottage cheese I see?

Time to join the gym, honey.

They're still sorta firm.

Need glasses to read.

Nose is getting larger (all the

better to hold the glasses).

Bigger feet.  Is that a bunion?

Why aren't you smiling?

The Fifties

Ummmm.  Where to begin?

What's with the short hair and curls? 

I see you still haven't joined the gym.

Oh dear. Not firm, not firm at all.

You seem to have lost your knees.

Still wearing glasses (when you 

remember where you put them).

Is that a chicken waddle?

That's definitely a bunion.
Toenail fungus, too.

Nose still growing.

Arthritis acting up?
Flabby arms.

Is that a frown?

The Sixties

See The Fifties above, add 

a few more insults and you

have The Sixties

A tiny bit deluded.
Thinks she's thirty-five again.
Shhhhhh...don't tell her.
She's happy.

I do not look like this.

I have more hair.

GOODS NEW FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO STAY THIRTY-FIVE FOREVER!

Drum roll please...

The New Sixties

Shhhh....don't tell her.  She's happy.