Do You Know Who I Am?

It was unfortunate.  And we were having such a good time, too.  Yes, we were drinking, but everyone drinks. When the party was over, we left. Everyone leaves when the party is over, don't they? So what's the big deal?  Since we drove to the party, it only made sense that we would drive away from it as well.  Everything I'm saying right now makes perfect sense to me, even though I clearly have had one drink too many, and there is a possibility that I may say something that could embarrass me later, but right now I'm an American citizen standing on American dirt--I have that right, ya know--and I'm thinking logically.  I can talk without slurring my words and walk without staggering.  What?  You want me to shut up and stop interfering with your cop job?  Are you a rent-a-cop, or something?  You don't look like a real cop with that big beer belly and those flat feet.  I've played a real cop in a movie once, and I can tell you're not a real cop.  Possibly you saw that movie.  Do I look familiar? No?  How about now? Recognize me now? Really?  Don't you go to the movies? What? You want me to shut up and get back in the car so you can arrest my husband for driving drunk?  I don't think so, mister rent-a-cop or whoever you are.  Hey! What are those? Handcuffs?

Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Stop that right now!  I'm not kidding, Mister!  You're gonna be sorry.

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

Later that same morning...

Mugshot 4/19/13

I'm sorry.  No, really I am.