She Was Here All Along

In the beginning, she loved me. Then, over time, little things I did got on her nerves, and I fell out of favor with her. Every new visit held a kernel of hope--maybe this time she'll see I'm really a nice person--and love me again, and on occasion that did happen.  The visits would start out with proclamations of affection, along with promises (hers) to never go back to that ugly place. But invariably I'd fall short of her expectations, and I'd find myself in trouble again.

A funny thing happens when I discover someone doesn't like me. I avoid them. But, avoidance is not an option when it comes to mothers-in-law. Creative hiding is an option, however, and that's all I'm going to say about that. Instead, let's talk about another funny thing that happened during our last visit in July.

When Tom saw it, I told him I didn't believe it was real. "It's an optical illusion," I said. "Nothing has changed." But I was wrong. There was something different about his mother. She was sweeter, kinder, funnier. Even though the words "It's a miracle!" did manage to find their way into our conversations, we also knew that modern medicine (Thank you, Dr. Johnson) took some credit for her transformation.

But wait! There's more. Here is the real story that I want to share. In my efforts to avoid the "unpleasant," my relationship with my mother-in-law had become benign. It existed but I attached no feelings or emotion to it. It just was. That all changed after spending two weeks with her in July. At first, I hid behind Tom. When I saw the water was calm, I stuck one toe in, then a foot. It was quite nice, so before long I stepped in front of Tom and jumped in fully clothed. I loved it!

FINALLY, AFTER ALL THIS TIME, SHE'S BACK.

She was here all along. This time the hugs didn't want to let go, the kisses lingered, and the words of affection--punctuated with tears--were free flowing and genuine. But where had this sweet lady been hiding for so many years?  Under layers of depression, anxiety, and loneliness...that's where!

Is she here to stay? We hope so, but only time will tell. There was that one yelling incident at the rehab center when the nurses tied her to the bed with ropes, (or was it her oxygen hose that got tangled up in her pancakes?) but who wouldn't yell under those circumstances?