The Price for Respect

Think back to those times in your life when you were disrespected. If you're not obsessive, like me, you will have forgotten all but a few. "People are human," you might say when making excuses for those who have treated you poorly. The excuses for being disrespectful are infinite, but the most popular ones are, "I've had a bad day," and "I don't feel well." Rarely will you hear, "I'm being mean to you because you deserve it!" 

Unlike you I remember most of those times in my life when others treated me with low regard. As a child, I was powerless over those who felt they had a right to use me as a scapegoat for things that went wrong in their life. Their depression or frustration or irritability or mental instability or anger found a way to express itself by pulling that switch down from the top of the refrigerator and then beating the hell out of my bare butt. Yeah. I remember most of those beatings, and the excuses behind them, very well.

As I age, I find that I sometimes repeat myself, so I apologize if I am repeating a story that I've already told you. I often repeat myself. You probably have already heard this story; I repeat myself sometimes. Have I mentioned that? It sounds so familiar.  Once upon a time, Prince Charming rescued Mother, Judy, and me when I was twelve and carried us off to a safe place, far far away from Hazel,  the switch, the beatings, the excuses. But disrespect is like a sneaky little mosquito: No matter how safe you think you are and no matter where you go, it will find you; you don't always know its there; it sneaks up from behind you and GOTCHA! That's disrespect for you. It can come out of nowhere and no one is immune from its bite.

I was sitting next to a lady at a restaurant the other day, when I overheard her say that her daughter treated her terribly, and she didn't know what to do about it. Her friend suggested she confront her daughter and say, "Why are you so disrespectful to me? I want it to stop!"  "Oh, no," the lady said, "I can't do that. She might get mad at me and not speak to me again. I have to take her disrespect. I can't risk losing her."

It occurred to me while I was listening to this lady talk: There is a price for respect, and some people are not willing to pay it: a mother who doesn't want to lose a child, a husband who doesn't want to give up 50% of everything in a divorce, a wife who believes she has no other options but to stay, an employee who doesn't want to lose a job. Oh, there are so many excuses why some of us will accept disrespect.

What's yours?