Wall Space

As the years ticked by on Austin Drive, available flat space on which to put things was getting more and more difficult to find: cabinet shelves, coffee table, end tables, night stands,  piano, sofas, chairs, beds, the floor. If they were flat they were being covered with some of Mother's favorite things. Same was true for wall space. If Mother liked it, she would find a place to hang it.

One day when I was well into my forties, my sister Lynnette came to town to visit and my parents had us over to their house after church for Sunday dinner. My dad always fixed a roast beef covered in onions and potatoes and carrots and smothered in gravy.  It was then and still is the best roast I have ever eaten. For sides, he fixed lima beans and coleslaw (the best coleslaw in the world.)

While sitting at the dinner table, I noticed a space on the kitchen wall that was empty, so I took the bag the lima beans came in and tacked it to the wall under "Go forth and be good." Lynnette and I laughed until we peed our pants--well, I did anyway. I should add here that my little sister "gets it" and she laughs the loudest, but she thinks I'm really _________ (fill in the blank yourself because I can't put that word in print. My granddaughter is going to read this someday.)

Years later, after Dad had passed away and Mother became infirm, I decided that the joke was well beyond its expiration date--Mother and Dad never saw it--and I took it down. Had they even seen it, I wonder, would they have thought it funny? Probably not.

I'm not funny in real life. I'm not funny in my fake life either, but I play a cartoon character in my blog who gets sued for defamation of character and libel by her hindsight at the same time her brain complains about not getting to sit in the big people chairs, yet refuses to grow up and act like an adult. Kinda like pretend life imitating real life. Maybe it's just me but I find humor in that.  Okay, it's just me; it's not funny. I thought you would say that.