Before the Lion Ate Me

Before the Lion Ate Me is a title that came to mind while I was in the shower this morning. That happens all the time: not the shower--I only shower when I'm dirty--but the title thing. I'll be standing there with a bar of soap up my armpit when out of nowhere a title to a story pops into my head. Sometimes I get the intro, middle, and end of the story but not today. Just Before the Lion Ate me is all I was given. I knew what it meant though. It's about those times in my life when I broke--or should I say tried to break--one major rule: never raise your voice in anger at a loved one.

That's right. I've never been given permission in my entire life to express my anger at a family member, friend, or mate by raising my voice to the point of yelling or screaming. Nope! Not once. I know what you're thinking: Why would I want to yell or scream? Well-adjusted people don't do that. Well-adjusted people resolve conflict by sitting down with the other person or persons and calmly and maturely discussing the matter point by point, and, in the end, everyone walks away with a resolution, kisses and hugs. Right?

WRONG!

Friends of my family yell at their friends. Family of my friends scream at their family. I see it all the time. What surprises me is that the majority of the time, no one says or does anything about it, i.e. yellers and screamers are given permission to express their unbridled anger without consequence. It amazes me that they can shake, rattle and roll the foundation of what was--before their eruption--a pleasant gathering of friends and family and get by with it. What is more startling is that they believe they have a right to behave that way. Not so for me. If I ever attempted to step over that line in the sand--you know, the line that separates the words "Go ahead; yell and scream; it's okay" and "Do not yell or scream, or else..."--I knew I could be in grave danger.

It is the "or else" part of consequences that makes me stop and think before crossing that line, but it wasn't always that way. I had to learn the hard way that there are some things in this life I'm not allowed to do:  1) Never say "I never, ever get sick," or else...  2) Never brag about material possessions, or else...  3) Never boast about achievements, or else...  4) Never say, "I don't need to leave a few minutes early for my job interview; there won't be a train on the tracks today," or else...  5) Never wear white pants to a spaghetti dinner, or else...  6) Never say, "I don't need to write that down; I won't forget," or else...  7) Never look at a lamb and assume that there's not a lion hiding underneath that nice soft exterior, or else...  8) Stop and think before you raise your voice in anger at a loved one or a lion in sheep's clothing...OR ELSE THE LION MAY SMACK YOU DOWN BEFORE EATING YOU!!