50 Cent Gas

Why is it so many people don't know what they have until they've lost it? I'm not talking about the keys to the car,  or those high-priced designer bifocals just added to the collection, or those "it's on the tip of my tongue" memories.  Losing those things can be traumatic, especially when one finds oneself digging through the morning's coffee grinds and bacon grease in the trash to get to the keys AND glasses they accidentally threw away because...uh...uh...because...uh...what was the question?  I can't remember.  Something about...sounds like...it's on the tip of my tongue.  No, really it is.

HEY! THAT REMINDS ME.

Did I ever tell you about the time I had to walk two blocks to school in the rain?  Really?   I've mentioned that already?  About two dozen times?  What about how much I paid for a gallon of gas for my Volkswagen Bug?  50 Cent! Yes, I do realize that's 1976 money and not relevant today.  And what do you mean, "50 Cent is a wrapper dude!"?  Sometimes you young people don't make no cents.

WHERE WAS I?

Oh, I remember now.  Why is it that so many people don't know that they've lost it?  I'm not talking about the missing "thing-a-ma-gig" they use to measure coffee grounds--it's on the tip of my tongue--or the keys to the safety deposit box, or occasionally directions back home.  No, I'm talking about...uh...uh...what was the question?

HEY! I HAVE TO INTERRUPT YOU TO SAY SOMETHING THAT HAS NO RELEVANCE TO WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

Did someone just say it's supposed to snow today?  Have I  ever told you about the time Peggy Nugent and I got stuck in the snow in 1962 in my dad's 1954 Ford Fairlane? Excuse me?  Eighteen times?  Really?  How about when I tried out for the cheerleading squad and didn't make it?  No?  Really?  You haven't heard that story?  Well,  I was in my freshman year, or was I a sophomore?  No, I think it was the summer between the eighth and ninth grades.  It was a Friday night in the school gymnasium.  Wait a minute.  I take that back.  It was Saturday afternoon on the football field, and...

hello?  hello?  Where did everyone go?

Why is it that so many of you people are lost and don't know it?

It's not me.  I know where I am.  Hey!  Have I ever told you about the time...