Pile a'Poo

There are those among us seniors who say that as we age and accumulate a lifetime of experiences, we should learn a valuable lesson: things are not always as they seem. Some will even boast and say that they learned this lesson long ago, thereby avoiding embarrassment, loss of credibility, diagnosis of instability, and banishment from the village. Even though banishment rarely happens anymore, I've been told that it feels like it when everyone leaves your village and you are left standing alone contemplating the error of your thinking.

It's not the error in thinking that causes the havoc and chaos that often times follow, these self-proclaimed wise old people will say. It's the hysteria that accompanies the misunderstanding that causes the floor under you--and those around you--to shake, rattle and roll. Calm, stability and the voice of reason are no where to be found, but they've left a note on the kitchen counter, "When you get your facts right and the hysteria subsides, give us a call."

As I age and accumulate a lifetime of experiences myself, I've found that 99% of the time things are exactly as they seem. I'm not concerned about that 1% I get wrong. I don't need to process, analyze, scrutinize the events in my life before I react to them. I trust my gut feeling. I'm a quick draw kinda gal who shoots from the waist, and I'm rarely wrong.

Will you excuse me for a moment? Maggie Mae is sniffing at something on the floor.

Whatcha sniffing, Sweetheart?

 OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!

NOT IN THE HOUSE, MAGGIE MAE!

TOM, COME HERE AND SEE

WHAT "YOUR" DOG HAS DONE!

What do you mean by "calm down" and I should

take a closer look before I react.  I'm looking

right at it, Tom. It's round like poo, it's brown

like poo, no doubt about it; it's poo.

I think you should stick "your"

dog's nose in that, Tom. What?

No! I will not settle down until you

get that pile a'poo outta here!  

Oh...never mind

Where did everyone go?

 Oh, look, there's a note on the kitchen counter.