Not Twelve Anymore

Merry Christmas...A Snapshot from the Past

A snapshot from the past.

From our 1956 family

to your 2015 family

MERRY CHRISTMAS


Why is Dean looking at Judy like that?

This post is the latest in a series of posts that begin 9/23/15. That post is called Acorn in an Apple Suit. But in reality the story really starts way before that because this year's blog is a cartoon of my life.

I Can Do That

When I was a young girl I was told that if I wanted to go to heaven, all I had to be was good and a few other things. I took being good very seriously.

Being dunked wasn't so bad. I held my breath while Pastor Moneymaker held me under water, thereby gaining me access to heaven.  But I lost admission the very next day by committing one of the seven deadly sins. It was Monday, Christmas break, and I just felt like doing nothing but lying on the sofa all day long watching cartoons and eating Milk Duds. I was a dud and a lazy, good-for-nothing, sloth-- one of the deadly sins. Getting into heaven is not going to be as easy as I thought.

Where Babies Come From

In my twelfth year a friend realized she knew something I didn't, and she wanted to be the first one to break the news to me.

The news was horrifying. IT. SIMPLY. COULD. NOT. BE. TRUE. I mean, how could that possibly be right? I lived in a house with three other females, and never, ever could we be naked in front of each other. The naked body, I was told time and time again, was repulsive and disgusting and nasty and should be covered at all times. So putting two repulsive, disgusting, nasty naked bodies together was more than I could handle. I cried for days over that piece of news.

So now that I know that Mother has been untruthful with me, I have to wonder, what other lies has she been telling? What's next? That there's no Santa Claus??

Speaking of Being Good

Sigh A Lent Night

Oh, here's a funny story, although at the time no one was laughing.

It was supposed to be a fun-filled event where his and her children could get more acquainted. What better way than spending time in a car just driving around Indianapolis singing Christmas Carols, right? Anyway, Helen could not join us, and even though he was upset he couldn't spend every minute of the day with his future step-sister, Judy, Dean was also unable to come.

Ivan was driving; his girlfriend, Joy, sat up front right next to him, and her sister, Betty, sat in the back with Judy and me. Everyone was singing Carols and having a wonderful time. Everyone, that is, except Ivan. Ivan was focused on the road. Apparently he was focused only on the road, not what was on the road, for example the car in front of us.

I saw the two tiny red taillights far ahead of us, but thinking nothing of it--there are other cars on the road, ya know--I continued to sing along with the girls. "Joy to the world, the Lord has come. Let Bertha receive her ring." 

During the second chorus of "Sigh a Lent Night," I noticed that the two red taillights were getting closer, but thinking nothing of it--Ivan surely knows there is a car in front of us, right?--I continued singing Carols with the girls.

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...what the hell? Just as the two very big taillights were about to become hood ornaments on Ivan's father's car, our car exploded with screams. Ivan jerked the wheel to the right, the car sped down an embankment, through a fence, and came to a stop in a field of expired cornstalks.

It was supposed to be a fun-filled way for her girls and his children to get to know each other, but maybe Hazel was right. Maybe Mother shouldn't marry this guy. I might not survive it.

The Reflection in Trump's Mirror

Right in the middle of my blog that is somewhere back in southern Indiana in 1956, I get pulled back to 2015 to draw a cartoon about a cartoon character. I'll take this down in a couple of days, but it was at the tip of my pen; I had to draw it. This is a conversation I imagine happening in the reflection in Trump's mirror.